the
From Glam Rock…to Garbo….to Goats
the
HIP QUOTIENT
From Glam Rock…..to Garbo…..to Goats
the
From Glam Rock…to Garbo….
to Goats
You know, almost all goats - both billies and nannys - are born with horns. Some of our human rulers remove our beautiful crowns by burning them off with a hot iron. It’s called disbudding, and we undergo this torture within our first 10 days of life. It’s akin to infant human boys undergoing castration! It hurts like hell, but…
Oh, sure. They’ve accused me of lacking originality, just because I occasionally pen clever parodies of famous songs and poems. Those boorish Capitol Steps people do it, and they’re not one bit FUNNY. Face it: I’m very good at livening up the classics with puns about bodily functions. But, baby, I ain’t going anywhere NEAR “Golden Slumbers.” (Though it IS…
I don’t know any goat that’s 100% black or white or tan. Most of us are of mixed color, and proud of it. But I do know a few billies who are predominantly black, and I never understood how they could work at that racist place called ‘Maggie’s Farm.’ You know, it was ME who encouraged Bob Dylan to write…
You know I’m loath to brag, but I have to let you know that the U.S. Postal Service has chosen ME as the model for their special Goat Heritage Month stamp! Now, get out there and buy some friggin’ stamps and send a card to your mom — even if she’s in the hoosegow for peaceably protesting, or some equally…
Let me not to the breeding of true goatsadmit false excrement.Poop is not poop that alters when it constipation finds.Or bends with the mucker to remove.No, it is an ever-tumbling rain of pelletsThat stick to hooves and shan’t be shaken.It is the dung on every wand'ring bark,Whose worth’s unknown, although its grams be taken.Poop’s no mere stool, that wagging buttsand…