Pop Matters

Rudolph, You Rock. Now Wise Up, Reindeer!

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Okay, Rudolph, you’ve gone down in history with that song of yours. And for what? Selling out! So you were born with a shiny red schnoz and had the misfortune of living in a frozen polar ice cap with no access to a plastic surgeon or electrician. And all those big-antlered reindeer jocks and their patent-leather-hoofed cheerleader girlfriends called you names and shunned you because of it. I know, I know…it hurts to be the last one picked for the volleyball team. Bullying sucks. But, Rudolph, you copped out and allowed those conformist reindeer snobs to welcome you into their clique only after you bailed Santa’s ass out of trouble. Man, you should have had more self-respect than that!

Don Kirshner: “I Want a Band That Won’t Talk Back"

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Between the ages of 13 and 20, yer usually date-less blogger spent many a Saturday night with an impassive middle-aged man sporting plastered hair, leisure suits, gold chains and the occasional sweater vest. His name was Don Kirshner, and he brought the top rock acts of the day into my living room with his syndicated late-night TV show. For many of us growing up in the 1970s, pre-car and pre-cash, the closest we came to attending an actual rock concert was staying up late to hear this pathologically unhip music impresario kick off 90 minutes of authentic live-on-tape rock performances.

Are Ya Ready, Boots? Start Talkin’!

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White boot, black boot, thigh boot, jack boot. I’ll endure the snow, slush, and sub-freezing temperatures of Pittsburgh for the rest of my life, as long as I can wear my pavement-pounding, cockroach-killing, arch-destroying boots. It’s the thrill of fashion…and the Agony of De Feet. But I’m still standing. From whence do my sartorial obsessions spring? From rock-n-roll, where else! Forty-eight years ago this month Nancy Sinatra recorded her smash hit “These Boots are Made for Walkin.” With it’s slinky guitar strut and finger-pointing tough girl lyrics, it quickly became a favorite among my growing collection of 45s. What a way for a six-year-old to learn the fine art of insult and accusation!

Who’s the Vainest of Them All?

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When it comes to the mating habits of female rock singers, today’s divas ain’t got nothin’ on Carly Simon. Taylor Swift may date and dump a dime-a-dozen variety of pop-boys simply to fuel her songwriting, but it’s mere kid stuff compared to Carly’s affairs. By the time she released her second album, “No Secrets,” in late 1972, she had liaised with Cat Stevens, Mick Jagger, Kris Kristofferson and future husband James Taylor – all bona fide artists. Many were hot for the sexy Simon, but the burning question of her career remains unanswered: just who IS she referring to in her career-defining song, “You’re So Vain,” which topped the charts 42 years ago this month?

The First Family of Psychedelic Pop

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Who was the youngest person to perform on a U.S. top ten hit record? Thinking Michael Jackson or Jimmy Osmond? No, it was Susan Cowsill, 56 today, of The Cowsills – a family band that proved you could make psychedelic music even while promoting milk for the American Dairy Association. Susan had just turned 9 when she sang background vocals on the group’s “Indian Lake,” which reached #10 on the Billboard charts in 1968. The Cowsills featured siblings Bill, Bob, Barry, John, Paul and Susan, plus mom Barbara. The band was the inspiration behind the ’70 TV sitcom “The Partridge Family.”