Sure, you’re bound to hear a handful of classic Christmas heartache songs during the season. We’ve all been over-exposed to Elvis’s “Blue Christmas,” a song made all the more miserable thanks to those cooing background vocals. Darlene Love’s “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” is a gut-wrenching song of plea. It’s cited by many as one of the greatest rock-n-roll Christmas tunes of all time, thanks to Ms. Love’s soul-searing voice. And while John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” is a song of hope, it has an air of sadness, with its haunting words and music reminding us that “the world is so wrong.” How can you not feel a glimmer of guilt when John asks, “and what have you done?”
But for those who want to do some serious mood-swinging this Christmas, allow me to recommend some lesser-known holiday tunes that are guaranteed to keep you under the covers, with a tissue box in one hand and a bottle of bourbon in the other, for days on end. These are the songs that speak to the soul of many a melancholy reveler.
For starters, there’s Tom Waits, whose gravelly voice is the perfect antidote to all that faux-la-la-la-la. Your Inner Scrooge will simply harken to his picture-perfect “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis.”
Hey Charlie, I’m pregnant and living on the 9th street,
Right above a dirty bookstore off Euclid Avenue,
And I stopped takin’ dope and I quit drinkin’ whiskey.
And my old man plays the trombone and works out at the track.
I’m betting that no one remembers “Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas),” a maudlin little tear-jerker written by the usually uplifting, mountain-fresh John Denver (Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr.).
Just last year when I was only seven,
And now I’m almost eight as you can see,
You came home at a quarter past eleven
Fell down underneath our Christmas tree.
And what could be more pitiful than a guy stuck in the hoosegow at holiday time? John Prine really nails the convict’s lament with “Christmas in Prison.”
The search light in the big yard
Swings round with the gun,
And spotlights the snowflakes
Like the dust in the sun.
It’s Christmas in prison
There’ll be music tonight,
I’ll probably get homesick
I love you, goodnight.
There are plenty of great “down-on-my-luck” Christmas songs by black R&B artists of an earlier vintage, but leave it to soul sensation James Brown to put a whole new spin on White (Bread) Christmas. His “Santa Claus, Go Straight to The Ghetto” is an up-tempo song with just a hint of sadness and social commentary.
Never thought I’d realize I’d be singing a song with water in my eyes.
Whether its Christmas time or not, good ol’ Roy Orbison always sings for the lonely. His great falsetto voice crooning “Pretty Paper” makes for one fabulous heart-rending tune.
Crowded street, busy feet, hustle by him.
Downtown shoppers, Christmas is nigh.
There he sits all alone on the sidewalk
Hoping that you won’t pass him by.
Merle Haggard’s “If We Make it Through December” is one of the most poignant holiday-time tunes you’re bound to hear. Daddy got laid off down at the factory and can’t afford to buy his little girl a Christmas gift. But he offers up a glimmer of hope: Got plans to be in a warmer town come summer time, maybe even California. If we make it through December we’ll be fine. Daddy may never get back on his feet again, but you just know his baby girl believes in him. And therein lies the sadness.
But nobody – and I mean nobody – can plumb the depths of melancholy like the Irish. That’s why my all-time favorite Christmas song is “Fairytale of New York,” by the great Celtic punk/folk band The Pogues. The group’s original name, Pogue Mahone, is an Anglicized version of the Gaelic expression póg mo thóin, meaning kiss my arse. (Don’t you just adore them?) Anyway, “Fairytale of New York” is a Christmas Eve ode of two dysfunctional immigrant lovers who lose their dreams on the streets of the big city. They fight and they curse, in high Irish style:
You´re a bum, you’re a punk.
You´re an old slut on junk,
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed.
You scumbag, you maggot,
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it´s our last.
But the melody is lovely, with lyrical references to two beloved Irish songs, “Galway Bay” and “The Rare Auld Mountain Dew” (I turned my face away / and dreamed about you). Pogues producer Steve Lillywhite said of “Fairytale:” “It’s for the underdog.” It’s known in Ireland as the greatest Christmas song of all time, which isn’t surprising. Those people know how to wallow in it – thanks, of course, to a certain hereditary disease. Irish eyes ain’t always smiling, you know (just take a look at Van Morrison). So, here then is the lovely duet by razor-toothed Shane MacGowan and the late Kirsty MacColl. For all you twisted, off-kilter realists out there searching for a different kind of Christmas love story, this just might become your new favorite holiday anthem.
I thank all who follow my blog. I wish you love and peace — concepts I really do believe in, despite the sometimes irreverent nature of my posts. And have a groovy new year, too. In the words of The Pogues:
I’ve got a feeling
This year’s for me and you.
So happy Christmas —
I love you baby.
I can see a better time
Where all our dreams come true.
Now, just be careful what you dream for.
[That’s actor Matt Dillon in the role of the arresting officer in the video. Shane MacGowan’s alcoholism forced him to leave the band in 1991.]
By Dana Spiardi, Dec 23, 2013
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Been in a palace, been in a jail / I just don’t want to be reborn a snail / Just want to spend eternity / On the sunnyside of the street. Those are the words of Shane McGowan, the founder and growling singer of the Celtic folk-punk band The Pogues. They combine electric guitars with traditional instruments like tin whistles, concertinas and hurdy-gurdys to create both original music and punk versions of standard Celtic ballads. The group was formed in London in 1982 as Pogue Mahone — an Anglicized version of “póg mo thóin,” meaning “kiss my arse” in Gaelic.
Their 1987 song “Fairytale of New York,” featuring the late Kirsty MacColl, is the most popular Christmas song in Ireland. I mean, how can you not fall in love with a lad and a lass hurling words of endearment – slut, maggot, scum bag – at each other on the day of Christ’s birth?
McGowan’s mates booted his boozy butt from the band in 1991, and within a few years the entire ensemble dissolved. But many original members, including the frontman, reconciled in 2001 and they’ve been touring ever since. Now, here’s a lively version of one of my favorite Pogues songs. Yes, ol’ Shane was obviously soused during this performance — but then, this is how he USUALLY sounds, with or without his pals, Messrs. Jameson and Guinness. (Click here for the lyrics.)
Irish rockers Thin Lizzy are best remembered in America for their two big ’70s hits, “Jailbreak” and “The Boys are Back in Town.” But they’re considered much more than mere two-hit wonders in their native land. With their powerful double lead guitar harmony sound, they’re revered as the best hard rock band to emerge from Ireland. Formed in Dublin in 1969 by bassist/vocalist Phil Lynott and drummer Brian Downey, Thin Lizzy was unique in two ways: they were the first Irish or English band to feature a bi-racial artist (Lynott) as frontman; and they employed both Catholic and Protestant musicians from both sides of the Irish border during the height of the ethnic/nationalist conflicts of the 1970s. The now deceased Lynott, of Irish/Afro-Guyanese descent, was an inspired singer/songwriter and a published poet. A life-size bronze statue of him stands in Dublin. Here’s Thin Lizzy’s great electric version of the famous traditional Irish ballad “Whiskey in the Jar.” The single reached the #6 spot on the U.K. charts in February 1973.
I never miss a chance to sing the praises of Rory Gallagher, known in Ireland as “The People’s Guitarist.” He was one of the greatest blues-rock musicians of all time and is a national folk hero in his native land. During Rory’s career he released 12 studio albums with sales exceeding 30 million copies worldwide. In 1971 he beat out Eric Clapton as Melody Maker International’s Top Musician of the Year. In fact, Clapton has said that Rory was responsible for “getting me back into the blues.” The Rolling Stones once considered hiring him to replace guitarist Mick Taylor, who quit the band in 1974.
The only reason he’s not better known in America is because – to quote the name of one of Rory’s famous albums – he went against the grain when it came to self-promotion, studio gimmicks, groupie baiting, and rock star posturing. Click here to read my March 2, 2014, tribute to the guitar virtuoso, on what would have been his 66th birthday. Now, be prepared to be blasted out of your seat when Rory kicks into “Bull Frog Blues.”
Okay, I said I wasn’t going to feature any high-profile giants of the Irish music scene in this article. But how can I possibly end this piece without a little gem from Van Morrison? This is the closing number from the Belfast bluesman’s timeless 1970 LP “Moondance.” Van wishes all of you Glad Tidings. And so does yer blogger, on this 2014 St. Paddy’s Day. Erin go Bragh!
© Dana Spiardi, March 17, 2014
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